1. Airplane seats are NOT beds.
2. Why are you honking your horn? The light just turned green.
3. Are they practicing a monologue or leaving me a voicemail message?
4. They’re the first in line for a handout but last in line to give someone a hand.
5. I said you could follow up with me in a month. It’s only been a week.
6. “Hello? No, you didn’t wake me up.” (The phone did.)
7. Pleeeeeease resolve my problem before you try to sell me more products.
8. I’m glad you returned my call, but did you really think I’d be in the office at 9 pm?
9. I wish you had asked if I was busy before launching into a conversation. I was in a deep train of thought.
10. I can’t believe you went crazy because I was five minutes late. You didn’t think twice about keeping me waiting forty-five minutes last week.
11. Let me understand this…I’m going crazy to meet your deadline even though the work has been collecting dust on your desk for the past week?
12. Please cover your mouth when you sneeze.
13. If you wanted to talk to your friend, why did you go to the movies?
14. Don’t just step over the food that your kids left under the table––how about picking it up?
15. Do you speak to your friends the same way you talk to restaurant servers?
16. I bought cookies from your kids last week. Now you want me to buy wrapping paper from them too?
17. I think the whole town can smell the food that you’re microwaving in the office.
18. We really don’t need to hear your phone conversation. We know how much you love Debbie.
19. It would’ve been great if you said hello before asking for a favor. We haven’t talked in six months.
20. Couldn’t you wash your hands before going on my computer? There’s chocolate on my keyboard.
21. I know we’re friends, but I already have a broker.
22. Remember the DVD that you borrowed a few months ago? Do you still need it?
23. They don’t get it. We’re the customers. Our taxes pay their salaries.
24. But, you promised!
25. I wish her kids would call her Mom rather than Mary.
26. The reason take-out food containers have lids is so they can be closed.
27. If they spent less time complaining about having no time, maybe they’d get something done.
28. I understand you’re passionate about dieting. That doesn’t mean the whole world has to follow the same diet.
29. Why do bosses insist that they must approve everything when they’re unavailable to review anything?
30. I love it when people admit to not knowing anything about a subject, yet give their opinion anyway.
31. Why do airlines even bother giving you the expected arrival time?
32. Excuse me. Please stop chatting with your friend for a moment. Your child is heading into the deep water in the pool.
33. They talk a lot about the virtues of giving. When does the talk stop and the giving start?
34. The sign says, “No cell phones allowed” for a reason.
35. Please move out of the aisle. Other passengers are trying to make their connecting flights.
36. People who complain and complain and complain (and then complain some more).
37. Let me understand this. You want me to fill out paperwork before you’ll see my child in the emergency room?
38. I love it when my shoes stick to the floor at the movies.
39. What are they deaf? Didn’t the manager just say “no photography during the show”?
40. Sorry, but…honestly, we really don’t need it…we really don’t…really…sorry…no thanks. CLICK!
41. WOW! That’s so exciting. She just left a message on Facebook…she’s “going to Starbucks.”
42. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry to break up your conversation, but we’re all waiting to place our orders.
43. That cab driver just gave me a shower. I wonder if he saw the puddle.
44. She’s more interested in her cell phone conversation than in her driving.
45. Excuse me. The line we’ve all been waiting on starts back there.
46. My overnight package looks like they sent it through the washer and then ran over it.
47. This is a large ice cream cone?
48. Last week he told us to do the work one way; now we’re being chewed out for listening to him.
49. I spent five hours helping him and he couldn’t even find the time to say thanks.
50. I made myself crazy getting here on time and he’s late…again.
51. If she didn’t want kids, why did she have them? I’m sick of hearing her complain.
52. While she’s flirting with the cashier, we’re all waiting on line.
53. Big bonuses for executives. No raises for anyone else.
54. I love people who waste your time because they don’t have anything better to do.
55. Why’d you wait till today to say you didn’t understand the assignment? It’s due tomorrow.
Now it’s your turn…What drives you CRAZY?
By Frank Sonnenberg on Tuesday, April 12, 2011