When you hear the word holiday, what comes to mind? If you’re like most people, shopping, parties, sales, and catalogs rank near the top of your list. The truth is, many holidays are becoming so commercialized that our proud traditions are in danger of becoming trivialized.
Many of us can’t even remember the true meaning of the holidays. Memorial Day has morphed from remembering our fallen soldiers to the unofficial beginning of summer. Labor Day’s role in recognizing the achievements of organized labor now just marks the end of summer and a return to school. Veterans Day is honored as a day off from work.
Traditions Matter
Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and foundation of our families and our society. They remind us that we are part of a history that defines our past, shapes who we are today and who we are likely to become. Once we ignore the meaning of our traditions, we’re in danger of damaging the underpinning of our identity.
- Tradition contributes a sense of comfort and belonging. It brings families together and enables people to reconnect with friends.
- Tradition reinforces values such as freedom, faith, integrity, a good education, personal responsibility, a strong work ethic, and the value of being selfless.
- Tradition provides a forum to showcase role models and celebrate the things that really matter in life.
- Tradition offers a chance to say “thank you” for the contribution that someone has made.
- Tradition enables us to showcase the principles of our Founding Fathers, celebrate diversity, and unite as a country.
- Tradition serves as an avenue for creating lasting memories for our families and friends.
- Tradition offers an excellent context for meaningful pause and reflection.
As leaders, role models, and parents, we must strive to utilize every opportunity available to us to reinforce the values and beliefs that we hold dear. The alternative to action is taking these values for granted. The result is that our beliefs will get so diluted, over time, that our way of life will become foreign to us. It’s like good health. You may take it for granted until you lose it. If we disregard our values, we’ll open our eyes one day and won’t be able to recognize “our world” anymore. The values that support the backbone of our country, our family, and our faith will have drifted for so long that the fabric of our society will be torn.
This is adapted from Follow Your Conscience: Make a Difference in Your Life & in the Lives of Others By Frank Sonnenberg © 2014 Frank Sonnenberg. All rights reserved.
Additional Reading:
Dream No Small Dreams
Ethics as Usual
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Your thoughts are truly inspirational. I feel enriched by each of your articles. .
Thank you so much, Mercy. I’m so glad you like it.
Best,
Frank
Traditions, as a set of actively taught expectations, primarily provide means of division: we do this, they do that—aren’t they evil, inconsequential, less-than-human. The folly that is religion illustrates this well. The core principles do not differ significantly among the various flavors of Mosaic religions, but the traditions of practice serve to create violent divisions between Jew, Christian, and Muslim. Take away those traditions and the reason (if the word is appropriate in reference to so irrational a system of thought) for the conflicts evaporates. The “us v. them” mindset codified in traditions has underpinned the institutions of slavery, the Hindu caste system, and the oppression of women and minorities.
Sonnenberg’s suggestion that “once we ignore the meaning of our traditions, we’re in danger of damaging the underpinning of our identity” just misses the mark. More accurately, when we stop thinking about the origins and ramifications of our traditions we suborn our identities to mindless compliance with the status quo, and by extension, with those who benefit most from the status quo. When, out of unthinking compliance with tradition, mothers actively participate in the genital mutilation of their daughters, one can see the horrific power of unquestioned acceptance of tradition. Authority, and particularly authority that has become petrified in tradition, needs constant examination if we hope to avoid becoming the pawns of others. Without vigilance, traditions take over our identities and replace consideration with obedience.
Similarly, Sonnenberg’s praise for tradition as “an excellent context for meaningful pause and reflection” needs tweaking. Traditions typically limit such thoughtful pauses to a few occasions. How often do you really give thought to peace on earth—outside of the Christmas season (for those who adhere to that theology)? The rest of the year it’s live and let die. How many go to church on Sunday to prepare for a new week of ignoring the precepts they claim to hold dear? I imagine that those who need a traditional reason for thoughtful reflection use it to excuse the lack of it during the rest of their lives. Thoughtless yahoos do not become considerate because of traditional time of reflection; they just think they do. Tradition just cheapens the price of involvement.
Humans seem to need human contact for comfort, to a greater or lesser individual extent. However, a sense of belonging tends to result in the formation of out-groups: meaningful inclusion demands an excluded group. Traditions, as a human construct, reflect this. So while tradition “contributes to a sense of…belonging” be mindful that it also supports exclusion. Sonnenberg’s assertion that “tradition enables us to…celebrate diversity” does not ring true. Diversity finds celebration mostly in not belonging to the out-group: “Blessed are you, Lord, our God, ruler of the universe who has not created me a woman” (Jewish morning blessing—said by a man, of course). The threat of being ostracized from the in-group tempers the comfort of current inclusion.
Tradition, and again let me emphasize that I refer here only to the sort that is actively taught, such as religion, not the sort that emerges organically, such as eating at a particular restaurant every Wednesday, harbors dangers that Sonnenberg ignores in this article. Traditions have provided the excuse for the perpetration and perpetuation of terrible inhumanities and diminished the individual to a mere bit actor in life. While those who benefit from the outcomes—churches, males, warlords—naturally want the traditions to continue, the rest of us suffer.
I remain unconvinced that unquestioning adherence to tradition is a net good. Individuals can achieve everything Sonnenberg attributes to traditions through individual effort. You need not wait for Memorial Day to thank a vet, or wait for Thanksgiving to gather with your family, or Independence Day to celebrate the principles on which the USA stands, or New Year’s Day to think about the trajectory of your life, or a wedding anniversary to honor your spouse. Indeed, you may find, as I have, that turning from traditions and making conscious efforts to define my relationship with society on my own terms has provided a greater sense of satisfaction and meaning than I ever felt before. Try acting not in ways that have been defined for you but in ways you have defined for yourself.
Hi Kilroy
Although we are all imperfect, we must work together to make the world a better place for our children. I choose to build upon the good in the world rather than throw the baby out with the bathwater. To that end, I continue to believe that tradition plays an important role in our society. The truth is, tradition isn’t the enemy of progress –– intolerance is.
Best,
Frank