Let It Go...Just Let It Go

Have you ever had a song stuck in your head that just wouldn’t go away? It’s unnerving. But it’s not just music that can linger. Fear, worry, regrets — even unresolved concerns — can circle back again and again, refusing to leave. Once these thoughts take hold, they can be exhausting. What’s worse, you usually feel powerless to break free from them, unable to let it go.

It might be a mistake you made months ago — and even though you wish you could change the outcome, what’s done is done. Instead of beating yourself up, it’s far more useful to learn from it and move on. The same holds true for a relationship that went sour. You gain nothing by holding a grudge — all it does is tie you to the very pain you want to escape. As Buddha taught, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

Some things — like worrying about what could go wrong — exist only in your imagination. Other things, like losing a customer through no fault of your own, rain on your wedding day, or a delayed flight that ruins your vacation plans, are simply out of your control. What happened, happened. If you don’t let it go, you risk ruining the vacation days you still have left.

It’s In Your Head, But Out of Your Hands

Life throws situations at us that we can’t turn off in our heads. Recognizing these feelings helps us understand ourselves and keeps us moving forward.

Sadness. Watching a relationship you cared about fall apart.

Betrayal. Being blindsided by someone you trusted.

Frustration. Trying to help someone who won’t lift a finger to help themselves.

Grief. Realizing you didn’t make the time — and now it’s too late.

Disappointment. Hearing “no” for the job you truly wanted.

Fear. Being so afraid of failing that you don’t try — and lose the opportunity.

Annoyed. Letting politics get under your skin.

Remorse. Saying something you wish you could take back.

Worry. Stressing so much about hosting that you can’t enjoy it yourself.

Anger. Losing the sale you poured your heart into.

Regret. Watching the stock market drop — knowing you could have sold but didn’t.

Envy. Seeing someone else get the promotion you felt you earned.

It’s Time to Move On

It’s never easy to let things go, but giving yourself permission to move on is critical. Living through these situations once is hard enough — reliving them only makes it worse.

You can’t rewrite the past, but you can affect the future.

Here are some principles to keep in mind:

• Are you thinking rationally or letting emotions take over?
• Have you faced a similar situation before? What lessons can be applied to this one?
• Are you trying to change the past? (Good luck with that.)
• Will this matter in five years, or is it just an aggravation today?
• What’s the worst that could happen? Things often seem daunting until you weigh the actual risk.
• Are you being too hard on yourself?
• How much time do you spend mulling over this? Is that time well spent?
• Does dwelling on it make you feel better or worse?
• Is there anything you can do to change the outcome?
• Is your mind exaggerating the threat? One study found that more than 91% of worries never come true.*
• What can you do to ensure this doesn’t happen again?

Are You Beating Your Head Against the Wall?

When life throws tough situations at you, you can either do something about it or move on. The fact is, holding grudges, reliving disappointments, or regretting past mistakes is destructive, debilitating, and harmful to your well-being. As Viktor Frankl, philosopher, writer, and Holocaust survivor, said, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Let it go. Just let it go.