How would you feel if someone put you down every minute of every day? It would be painful and exhausting, wouldn’t it? What if you had to live with this person? Sounds unbearable, right? The fact is, some people are kinder to strangers than they are to themselves. They’re negative, condescending, and outright cruel when it comes to judging themselves. Are you nice to yourself?
15 Emotionally Destructive Phrases
Do you have a tendency to criticize and belittle yourself? Is it so ingrained in your routine that you don’t even recognize it any more? Here are 15 things that you’d never say to someone else, but you may be saying to yourself:
You Said What? Translation
“I’m such an idiot.” I’m stupid.
“I can’t do anything right.” I’m incompetent.
“This could only happen to me.” I’m a mess.
“I’d rather keep to myself.” I’m unpopular.
“Why try?” I’m unsuccessful.
“I’ll never be as good as them.” I’m average.
“I’m so fat.” I’m unattractive.
“I may as well quit.” I’m a failure.
“I can’t admit it hurts.” I’m needy.
“My opinion doesn’t matter.” I’m unimportant.
“Nothing ever goes my way.” I’m unlucky.
“I wish I could disappear.” I’m worthless.
“I don’t really deserve it.” I’m unworthy.
“People like me never stand a chance.” I’m inferior.
“I’ll never win.” I’m such a loser.
It’s one thing to expect perfection of yourself, yet quite another to beat yourself up for coming up short. Choose your words carefully. Be nice. You’ll probably believe what you say.
Speak Your Mind, But Be Nice to Yourself
Why would you say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a good friend?
Break the bad habit. Be aware every time that you’re unkind to yourself. Create a catch phrase such as, “Be nice” to remind yourself to stop. It’ll help to break the cycle.
Begin and end your day with kindness. After waking up and before to bed, tell yourself why you’re special, areas in which you performed well, and things to be grateful for.
Give yourself a pep talk. Give yourself some encouragement when you’re down or when you need an extra push.
Create a list of wins. Create a list that demonstrates how special you are. Include examples such as:
- Making someone feel special.
- Going out of your way for a friend.
- Receiving a compliment.
- Performing better than expected.
- Leaving your comfort zone.
- Overcoming an obstacle.
- Pushing through a tough patch.
- Helping someone in need.
- Serving as an exemplary role model.
Although you do these things every day, you may be overlooking them. The sheer number of items on your list will give you reason to pause…smile…and feel good about yourself.
Celebrate small wins. Be nice. Give yourself a pat on the back when you perform well. If you’d tell a colleague that they did a good job, there’s no harm in saying the same to yourself.
Hold your head up high. Change your mood by changing your behavior. As Dale Carnegie said, “Act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic.” Before you know it, behavior becomes habit.
Be Your Own Best Friend
Saying is believing. Whenever you say something positive or negative about yourself, you look for evidence to support your claim. This can have a powerful effect on behavior and ultimately, on results. If you want to be beneficial, be positive and be nice. Stop criticizing, judging, or finding fault with yourself. You’re only sabotaging your efforts. Instead, be upbeat, helpful, and encouraging. And most of all, believe in yourself. You deserve nothing less! Never say anything, to yourself, that you don’t want to come true. You may cause it to happen!
Are You Nice to Yourself?
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Tom Wrona says
As usual, Frank, words to live by.
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thank you, Tom. I’m glad you like it.
Have an awesome day my friend.