Even though some folks make their success look easy, it rarely is. The truth is, success in almost anything requires hard work, determination, and a positive mental attitude. But, some people are their own worst enemy: they hurt themselves in ways they never imagined. The fact is, one of the biggest obstacles to success lies within each of us. Do you have a victim mentality?
Before you say “no,” how often do you say, “Other people have it easier,” “Why does this only happen to me?” or “I can’t do anything right.” Your outlook can work for you or against you…it’s your choice. “I can’t” and “I don’t want to” trigger the same results.
Symptoms of a Victim Mentality
Negative habits produce negative results. Here are seven characteristics of a victim mentality:
Feeling powerless and helpless. Some people feel they don’t have control over their situation. So they don’t even try to affect the outcome.
Dwelling on negativity. Some folks complain about their tough life just to attract attention or to fill a void in conversation.
Generating self-abuse. Some people continually put themselves down.
Remaining stuck in the past. Some folks refuse to let go of disappointments.
Blaming the world. Some people blame scapegoats for their setbacks and difficulties.
Being consumed by problems. Some folks wear their problems as a badge of honor.
Feeling cheated. Some people are envious and resentful. They believe that “the world isn’t fair.”
11 Ways to Escape a Victim Mentality
Playing a victim is counterproductive. Here are 11 points to counteract that behavior:
Own your life. Accept responsibility for your past, present, and future. Don’t outsource that responsibility to others.
Be positive. Focus on controlling your negative thinking. Mentally limit the times that you judge, complain, mistrust, or are jealous of others.
Believe in yourself. Do things that foster confidence and self-esteem. That includes appreciating your strengths and being kind to yourself.
Look in the mirror. Don’t compare yourself to others. It only breeds envy and resentment. When you compete with yourself, you both win.
Count your blessings. Take inventory of the wonderful things in your life. Appreciate what you have, while you have it, or you’ll learn what it meant to you –– after you lose it.
Create good habits. Identify your bad habits and adjust your behavior accordingly. Remember, practice doesn’t make perfect if you’re doing it wrong.
Hit lots of singles. Strive for small wins. They offer confidence and momentum as you pursue your long-term goals.
Meet challenges head-on. Prove you can overcome tough obstacles. That will give you the strength and determination to face new ones. If you believe you can’t, you won’t.
Forgive yourself. Don’t beat yourself up for mistakes or failures. Everyone is human –– we prove that every day. Learn and move on.
Let grudges go. Seeking retaliation, rather than forgiveness, traps you in the anger. Let it go.
Avoid becoming dependent. Determine whether a “handout” helps you get back on your feet or enslaves you to a lifetime of dependency.
Life Isn’t Perfect — Stop Being a Victim
Life isn’t easy. It’s that simple. We all encounter problems, face obstacles, and experience setbacks. Why should it be any different for you? So stop the whining, blaming, and negativity. You’re only hurting yourself.
Great athletes know that winning is as much mental as it is physical. Success takes effort day in and day out –– even when your body says “enough.” There is great truth to the saying that “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Overcoming setbacks will give you the confidence, strength, and determination to meet your next challenge. The opposite is also true. Being handed everything on a silver platter will cause atrophy of the soul. Don’t make yourself a victim. Winners make the effort while losers make excuses.
Do You Have a Victim Mentality?
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