Do you ask for help when you need it, or do you view it as a weakness? I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I hate to ask for directions — even when I’m lost. I’m not sure it’s because I’m embarrassed that I’m clueless or because I don’t want to admit defeat, but my refusal to ask for directions is something I live with. In fact, there was a time when I’d drive around FOREVER until sheer frustration outweighed my unwillingness to ask. Then, only then, I’d ask for assistance. Sound familiar? Thank goodness for GPS.
Do you appeal for help when you need information, advice, or professional expertise? Do you request support when you have too much on your plate, face a daunting project, or require temporary assistance during tough times? Unfortunately, refusing to seek support is more common than you’d think. You may ask yourself, why?
Do You Solicit Help When You Need It?
Here are 12 reasons why people refuse to ask for help:
Weakness. “She’ll think less of me.”
Embarrassment. “I should be able to do it myself.”
Unfamiliarity. “I can’t ask him for assistance. I don’t know him that well.”
Shyness. “I’m reluctant to ask.”
Ego. “If I don’t know, nobody knows.”
Position. “I’m an executive. I can’t ask an underling.”
Reciprocity. “I don’t like owing people anything.”
Insecurity. “Who am I to ask others for assistance?”
Pride. “I’m capable of figuring this out for myself.”
Control. “If I get him involved, he’ll want to do it his way.”
Cost. “I’ll save money if I do it myself.”
Rejection. “Last time I asked her for help, she turned me down.”
Help Is On the Way
Here are seven points to consider next time you require help:
Build confidence and self-esteem. Before asking of others, try to do for yourself first.
Know the nature of your request. Determine whether it’s prudent to do things yourself or if assistance is required. In that regard, is your issue of critical importance? Is timing and cost a major consideration? Do you have the knowledge, experience, and subject matter expertise to address the challenge yourself? Would an outside perspective be beneficial? Are there significant consequences if failure occurs?
Swallow your pride. Requesting support is not a weakness. Be sensible, and park your ego at the door.
See the good in people. Don’t assume people will turn down your request because then you might not ask — making it a self-fulfilling prophecy. The fact is, most people are more than willing to help others.
Ask. Just ask. If you can’t decide whether to request help, consider this: If you don’t ask for help, you won’t get help.
Make your needs known. People are not mind readers. They can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating.
Be considerate. Before requesting assistance, consider whether you’re too reliant on one individual. Is the timing convenient for them? Are you making a reasonable request or are you placing the person in an uncomfortable position? Are you ready to accept no for an answer?
Know When to Request Assistance
Asking for assistance is not a weakness. BUT some people make no effort to help themselves. Instead, they solicit help to avoid work, dodge commitments, and evade personal responsibility. In essence, they outsource their obligations and become totally dependent on others.
Requesting help is beneficial, but be careful it doesn’t become an addiction.
Therefore, be strong enough to stand on your own two feet, but wise enough to know when to ask for help.
Do You Ask for Help?
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