In the good old days, people embraced values such as hard work, playing by the rules, and living with honor and integrity. Do parents still pass those values on to their kids or are they too busy to parent? Do leaders still notice how they’re influencing their followers or are they too self-absorbed to even care? Do successful people still care about how they win or do they only care that they win? In other words, is morality a thing of the past?
Is living a dignified life still on anyone’s radar or is that so “yesterday”? What happens when moral character and living a virtuous life become an afterthought rather than priority number one? I find inattention and disinterest to this matter incredibly troubling. Is morality a thing of the past?
What happens when bending the rules, breaking the law, and cheating to win become commonplace? What happens when demanding rewards, stealing the credit, or basing a promotion on irrelevant criteria becomes standard fare? What happens when people cut in line, exempt themselves from the rules, or game the system without consequences? It’s disheartening. It’s demoralizing. It’s like living in an upside-down world in which immorality is the new morality.
Some people have gotten away with “murder” for so long,
they’re convinced that wrong is the new right.
When someone breaks a rule, deviates from acceptable norms, or commits a crime, people focus intently to see what will happen. Will they get caught or walk away? Will they get reprimanded or receive a pass? Will the punishment be just or unfair? If truth and fairness rule the day, all is well. If not, some people may voice their discontent and demand justice, while others mimic the rotten behavior because “those folks” got away with it. They rationalize their thinking with six lame excuses:
- “The only thing that matters is winning.”
- “The end justifies the means.”
- “If they got away with it, so can I.”
- “It’s only one time.”
- “No one will find out.”
- “Everybody does it.”
Before you know it, what was once considered unacceptable becomes commonplace.
Knowing What’s Right Isn’t as Important as Doing What’s Right
Even though “good people finish first” used to be a common precept, what appears to be trending now is that dishonest, illegal, and immoral behavior is being ignored, covered up, and even sometimes rewarded. Do you want that to be the new normal — or should we reexamine things?
Is it too much to ask people to follow the Golden Rule, parent their kids, and obey the law? Is it too much to ask people to tell the truth, keep their commitments, and earn their rewards? Is it too much to ask role models to live an honorable life and lead by example?
There will always be liars, cheaters, and thieves. The key is that they must pay a price for dishonest and immoral behavior. Period!
Actions have consequences. So does inaction.
There’s a huge difference between right and wrong. And it’s the job of decent, law-abiding citizens to point out that reality to those who have forgotten.
Here are 15 guideposts to serve as reminders:
- Kindness and compassion should be the rule of thumb.
- Virtue isn’t demanding more of others; it’s expecting more of yourself.
- You are free to choose, but you’re not free from the consequences of those choices.
- Breaking the law is illegal. Period.
- Truth is not an option. It’s a necessity.
- Your commitment should be as binding as a contract.
- Hard work should be a celebrated virtue.
- Free speech and debate are essential in our search for the truth.
- Folks who prescribe tolerance should take their own medicine.
- Fairness should be indisputable, and justice blind.
- Rules should apply to everyone.
- People should earn trust and respect rather than demand it.
- Parents should be able to reprimand their kids without getting reprimanded.
- Everyone should have an equal opportunity to live the American Dream. Everyone!
- People shouldn’t get what they want; they should get what they deserve.
Is Immorality the New Morality?
I know people who’ve achieved fame and fortune in spite of their unscrupulous ways. I’m sure you do, too. They think they’ve beaten the system, but I beg to differ. They know how they achieved their “success” and others know as well.
Are they proud of the way they became successful? Can they feel good about how they treated others along the way? I think not. The sad truth is that when these folks stare at the ceiling in the dead of night, they know how they rose to the top. While they had the talent to achieve greatness, the right way, they chose to live a disgraceful life. While they may have all the spoils of success, they’ll never have the feeling of accomplishment that comes with it.
The true reward for living a good life isn’t the fame and fortune that comes with success, but rather, it’s knowing that you earned it the right way. In other words, it’s not only that you won, but how you won.
Do You Think Morality Is a Thing of the Past?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Order Your Copy Today
Listen to Your Conscience: That’s Why You Have One by Frank Sonnenberg
Additional Reading:
Moral Character Matters
The Consequences of No Consequences
Would You Do Something Unethical if You Could Get Away with It?
When Rules Outweigh Common Sense
Ethics as Usual
It’s Time for Grown-Ups to Grow Up
Do You Choose Convenience Over Principles?
The Glue that Supports a Healthy Social Fabric
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Dear Frank,
Thank you for your articles and books you work so hard to put together with thoughtful ways to live an aware and conscious life. I look forward to your weekly emails and am thankful I am not alone in my beliefs, especially as I rear my children on my parenting time.
I am divorced and have spent a sickening amount of money to come to an agreed Marital Settlement Agreement that we both signed. I follow the agreement to the best of my ability, however, it’s not reciprocated. I’ve gone back to court and spent more money in hopes that the law will slap the other on the hand to follow the agreed upon order and to no avail it was unsuccessful. The judge fluffed off more than a handful of motions that affected both my children and I.
Even though I have a “contract” spent more than a down payment on a home to obtain it. It means nothing, it’s a joke. The winners here are the lawyers and those who don’t play by the rules. I have to believe that in my faith and in the end of life that the ones who do not follow the rules here on earth they will be judged by God. I have done all that I can with the resources I have and it’s not enough.
Again, thank you for your work and legacy you will leave the world with. You’re work gives me hope. Blessings from Illinois
Hi Candy
Thank you for your kind words.
While some folks strive to be principled people, others have lost their way. When you live by sound principles and choose to do the right thing, you’ll face yourself in the mirror each day and be proud of what you see. You’ll be able to say that no matter the consequences, you did the right thing. “How much is that worth,” you ask? You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
You summed up your philosophy well when you said. “I have to believe that in my faith and in the end of life that the ones who do not follow the rules here on earth they will be judged by God.”
Thanks for takin the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Dear Frank:
This is a great article and on a subject that I have been writing for some time. My recent Blog article on Civility tells of when morality in America began its decline due to Supreme Court belief regarding the Natural Law as a foundation to the moral compass in the U. S. Maybe if you have the time, you can take a look. Thank you for your emails with tons of your wisdom. I save many for future reference. High regards to you.
https://vanguardldrship.wordpress.com/2020/09/21/concepts-of-a-civil-society/.
Sincerely,
David McCuistion
Compass Leadership
Thanks David I’m so glad my posts resonate with you.
The way I see it, virtue isn’t demanding more of others; it’s expecting more of yourself. That said, if everyone swept in front of their own door, the world would be a cleaner place.
Thanks for sharing your article. I’ll definitely check it out.
Best,
Frank
Hi, Mr. Frank:
Thanks for your article. I love the subject and suggestions.
However, I am beginning to believe that morality really is a “thing of the past.” And, those who try to “follow the rules” are the ones alienated and penalized. “The key is that they must pay a price for dishonest and immoral behavior. Period!” People who lie, especially those in positions of leadership, should be held accountable, but they aren’t. I have seen it one too many times. And it is so discouraging.
My own manager made up lies about me to cover herself for not doing something, and there is evidence to support my assertion. Even worse, she did not just lie, orally, she made up paperwork to support her lies, and thought I would sign it. No one care because I had no influence there. I asked about our core values, and they pretty much laughed. I feel so stupid for choosing to serve there. I’m still in shock over it.
Hi SMC
I completely understand your shock and disappointment.
Like you, I believe people should face the consequences of their actions. Otherwise, before you know it, unacceptable behavior becomes acceptable to everyone.
The fact is, there is nothing that we can do to change people. That said, you have complete control over how you choose to live your life. Never lower your standards. Never! Make yourself proud. Be the person who lives with honor and integrity. Set an example for others to follow.
One day you’ll look back and take great pride not only in what you accomplished, but how to chose to live your life. What’s that worth? Everything!
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Thank you for replying to me, Mr. Frank!
I appreciate that and your thoughtfulness. You’re right. I can’t change anyone. I just got to stay true to me and my standards, It’ll just take me a minute to get over the hurt part. 🙂
Thank you~
SMC
Great SMC Sounds like a plan 🙂
Best,
Frank
I’m curious if there comes a point in society, where there’s more to be gained by tearing down what others have built, rather than piece by piece the hard work of building something of your own. Fairness, honesty, have certainly worked in the past to build great things, but now in the age of unchecked monopoly.. Many people in business are desperate, because they really can’t compete on a level playing field. So they resort to dishonesty, and scamming people.
I wonder if honesty and fairness works as a business strategy anymore, particularly in online commerce. With Facebook, Google, and B2C apps in general, the business model is to addict the consumer. For likes, clicks, and engagement. I seems the internet has really flipped the script on what works best in business. Outsource employees to the lowest wage countries. Automate labor. Do unethical online marketing practices. Engaging in practices that are bad for the local community, seem to often be the only way for a company to be nationally or globally competitive.
I’m afraid for many there’s more to be gained by tearing walls down, and fighting each other than working together. Maybe there’s more to be won by suing your company for something frivolous than going to work for (low) wages? Maybe that’s why there’s so many people blowing things out of proportion to gain some advantage. And why nobody wants to hire anyone, fear of getting sued or wanting to just avoid adversarial relationships in general. Robots vs people, companies would rather hire robots.
That said, if a company is honest/ethical and somehow finds a viable niche, it will really stand out nowadays since there’s so many scammers.
Hi Mark
You bring up important points.
First, it has always been difficult to compete in the marketplace. Despite that, given the speed of change coupled with the Covid crisis, these times are even tougher. Any business that views today as business as usual, does so at its peril. It’s critical to develop a sound strategy and implement it flawlessly.
Second, mistrust can cripple personal and business relationships, strip the muscle from our most powerful leaders, and crush the productivity and morals of our best and brightest people. It creates a distraction, creates a toxic environment, destroys individual initiative and reduces competitiveness.
Conversely, if you choose the path of honor and integrity, there may be some negative consequences. In fact, you may fall short of the prize that you had your heart set on; you may be forced to tell your boss you’re not comfortable with his or her request; or, if you did something wrong, you may have some explaining to do.
The prize for being honest is that, even though you may not win all the time, you’ll be true to yourself and your values. What’s that worth? You have to live with yourself for the rest of your life.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank