Think about why you trust some people and mistrust others. What is it about their behavior that makes you feel that way? Here are 25 ways to determine if someone should be trusted. Do these thoughts cross your mind:
- “I can always count on him. He’d never let me down.”
- “She’s the same in public as she is in private.”
- “His promise is as good as a contract.”
- “She’s always willing to help others and rarely asks for anything in return.”
- “He tells me the truth — even when it hurts.”
- “She’d never say anything behind my back that she wouldn’t say directly to me.”
- “He treats everyone warmly — even if they can’t do anything for him.”
- “He spends more time telling me what he’s done than promising what he’ll do.”
- “I can confide in her. She can really keep a secret.”
- “She doesn’t spin the truth. She tells it like it is.”
- “He’s always on time. I can set my watch by him.”
- “She’s objective. She always presents both sides of an issue.”
- “He has strong convictions. He doesn’t blow in the wind.”
- “She’s respectful, even when she doesn’t agree with me.”
- “He’d never ask me to do anything that he wouldn’t do himself.”
- “When she makes a mistake, she admits it — and accepts responsibility.”
- “I always know where he stands. He’s anything but a “yes” person.”
- “She a big believer in win-win relationships.”
- “He’s a team player, always willing to make sacrifices for the team.”
- “She’s a good friend. I can count on her in good times and bad.”
- “He’s very fair — open-minded, objective, and even-handed.”
- “She tries to do what’s right rather than what’s politically expedient.”
- “He’s not an envious person. He’s genuinely happy for my success.”
- “She’s the real deal — what you see is what you get.”
- “I never fear that he’s withholding information from me.”
Why Do You Trust Some People and Mistrust Others?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
15 Common Myths About Building Trust
The Values on Which Trust Rests
Do You Deserve to Be Trusted?
Moral Character Matters
Live With Honor and Integrity
Are You Blurring the Line Between Right and Wrong?
Trust Me…Trust Me Not
15 Ways to Lose Trust and Credibility
If you like this article, subscribe to our blog so that you don’t miss a single post. Get future posts by RSS feed, email or Facebook. It’s FREE.
Steve Harper says
This is a fantastic post that I am going to be sharing with my network right now! Thank you for sending it to me sir!
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thank YOU, Steve 🙂
Just reading this list lowered my blood pressure and reduced my anxiety! This list agrees with my intuitive self. Mind you, I am not perfect and I have made my share of mistakes but some people use a person’s natural desire to trust to manipulate them for their own selfish purposes.
From a tiny child it was beat into me to obey unquestioningly, and if tempted to question was advised to “not think”. I suffered all manner of abuses both from family members and some members of my religion.
I have this battle constantly with those around me who preach and demand “trust” and this has gotten me into nothing but trouble all my life. Don’t trust your gut. Don’t use reason and discernment. Don’t question or you will be punished severely. Don’t test the person out to see if they are trustworthy. Don’t tell on perpetrators. Just trust. Just trust that justice will be done even if it doesn’t look like it. Trust even if what they are telling you doesn’t make sense. Or doesn’t make you feel comfortable. Or violates what you know is true and good. Or hurts someone. Just trust. Reminds me of the snake in the jungle book! Hypnotizing his victim while making them feel guilty for not trusting – so they can crush and consume them without any resistance.
I am 61 years old and I’m dealing with the cumulative consequences of trusting others in important matters that have led myself and my children (now grown) to very unhealthy and difficult outcomes. It has finally made me angry and distrustful and anxious and depressed and skeptical. Not to mention that I’m punished for having PTSD over the many abuses I’ve suffered, not even being allowed to talk about my experiences and get support.
When I try to get some level of understanding and accountability from those who did this, I am chastised for not making better decisions. Which is a slap in the face from those who have taught me to “not think, just trust”.
You cannot train someone to blindly obey and not question and then punish them when doing so gets them into trouble.
Everyone should have a copy of this list. Put it on your fridge, place a copy in your purse, make it an art project and hang it on your wall, internalize it but – most of all – take it out and use it.
Make sure the people you are allowing around you and your children measure up. Use it for self-reflection – surely everyone has one or more items they can improve on.
Protect yourself. Put people to the test. Those who are trustworthy will understand and those who balk have something to hide.
Thanks for this list. It’s validating and healing to read, and I’m going to put it to good use.
Frank Sonnenberg says
Thank you for your eloquent comment. You have a wonderful attitude.
Trust is not granted because you possess power, wealth, or status. Similarly, trust isn’t given because you demand or desire it. When someone places their trust in you, you’ve proven that you’re worthy of their trust and that you’ll work hard to preserve it. Trust is like love. It can’t be seen, but its value is immeasurable.
Thanks for taking the time to write.