Almost all parents have that corny conversation with their kids about what life was like when they were growing up: “When I was your age, we walked to school, uphill, both ways.” (I can just hear the response: “That’s so yesterday,” accompanied by eye rolling.) Yet, while progress has been made on many fronts, some things have been lost in our quest for advancement. It never hurts to reflect back to when times were a little simpler. Maybe, just maybe, we could learn something. Are you racing in the wrong direction?
That’s So Yesterday
In years past:
- We chatted with our mouth rather than texting with our fingers.
- We counted on our friends rather than counting the number of them.
- Spinning the truth was known as lying.
- Doctors spent more time with patients than they did filling out paperwork.
- Walter Cronkite, anchor of the CBS Evening News, was considered the most trusted man in America. (That’s not fake news.)
- Kids who used foul language got their mouths washed out with soap.
- Parents disciplined their kids without anyone considering it child abuse.
- We were expected to eat everything on our plate because “There are people starving in the world.”
- Winners received trophies while losers were taught never to quit.
- If we wanted something — we worked for it. Period.
- The only thing we were entitled to was a lecture if we disobeyed our parents.
- If we didn’t have the money, we simply didn’t buy it.
- Good manners were expected and not a rarity.
- Parents spent quality time with their kids rather than using the iPad as a babysitter.
- Our behavior was a reflection of our upbringing. (So you better be good!)
- John F. Kennedy inspired a generation of leaders.
- We said the Pledge of Allegiance, to honor our country, every morning before school.
- Parents weren’t chauffeurs. If we wanted to go somewhere, we walked or rode our bike.
- We turned off the lights before we left the room — or it was considered wasteful.
- We were taught that hard work builds character.
- Freedom of speech was celebrated — enough said.
- We took good care of our things because they would be passed down to our sibling.
- Television programs reinforced American values. Foul language wasn’t tolerated.
- The American work ethic was considered the envy of the world.
- Elders received respect and always had the final word.
- Our freedoms were never taken for granted. After all, people gave their lives to protect them.
- Christmas was called Christmas. And nobody got offended.
- Air travel was considered luxurious.
- Volunteering meant raising our own hand rather than pointing to others.
- We had dinner as a family — imagine that!
A Step in the Right Direction
Am I suggesting that life was perfect in the good ’ole days? Absolutely not! We still had our share of problems. And we’ve certainly made progress on many fronts. Am I proposing a return to yesteryear? Hardly. But that doesn’t mean we should march forward, blindly, if things haven’t turned out as we planned. The fact is, just because it’s new doesn’t make it better.
If well-intentioned actions have produced unintended consequences, it may be time for a course correction. Does your behavior:
- Create stronger relationships or weaken them?
- Make your life easier or cause additional stress?
- Bring out the best or reveal the worst in people?
- Add to your quality of life or diminish it?
- Make you proud, or will it be a source of regret one day?
I’m not suggesting that we go backward. But it pays to move forward in a conscious manner. As Yogi Berra said, “You can observe a lot by just watching.” The fact is, if you can’t make it better, don’t make it worse. Change is wonderful — if it’s in the right direction.
Are You Racing in the Wrong Direction?
Please leave a comment and tell us what you think or share it with someone who can benefit from the information.
Additional Reading:
Do You Choose Convenience Over Principles?
Are You Preparing Your Kids for the Real World?
Hard Work Is Good for Your Soul
Parenting Isn’t Child’s Play
Moral Character Matters
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Well, I will tell you that I will never, ever, ever forget the taste of Ivory Soap (from #6). I still remember that day, I was 5 years old, and I sassed my Momma….that was the last time I ever did that.
Well written post, yes I’m old enough to remember most of these, but young enough to see that the “new” things that people try and (ultimately) get offended at are quite ridiculous.
#30 – family meals? Yes definitely! While we usually make it happen around 5x/week, it is a great time to spend with our children, teaching them manners and how to have intelligent conversations.
Hi Johanna
Unfortunately, I know the taste of soap too well 🙂
When we were kids it was hard to understand why our parents were so tough on us. I now know it was for our own good. They inspired good habits, taught us life skills, and promoted strong values. As I like to say, “Behind every good kid are parents or caregivers, who understand the importance of raising them that way.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
I enjoyed your post very much. You describe the world in which I grew up, and it made sense. A friend and I were discussing this just this morning. How I long for the simpler times, where you didn’t have to know 21 +/- passwords to do anything, or a highly technical sequence just to type a letter. So what if we didn’t have 6000 TV channels from which to choose. (At least we usually knew what was on each one.) And the values: you were supposed to do what you thought was right, not what you thought you could get away with. Medical progress has been spectacular–not many complaints there. The internet? Both good and bad. But I do wish for a friendlier, less complicated world like “in the good old days”.
You’re absolutely right, Debbie
Some people may think I want to return to the past. That’s simply not the case. The point is, just because it’s new doesn’t make it better. We should build on the good and improve upon our weaknesses. That’s what I call progress 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
As we recently all ushered in the new year, this post is a great barometer that can be used to introspect and charter the future course of one’s life! If I ask myself questions like these-
“Does your behavior:
•Create stronger relationships or weaken them?
•Make your life easier or cause additional stress?
•Bring out the best or reveal the worst in people?
…
I feel if I sit with each of these sentence one by one, I can come up with a lot of piercing anweres and ways to improve myself.
Thanks Frank! God Bless you!!
Great idea Prabhakar
We all live hectic lives. It’s very healthy to step back from time to time to gain a little perspective. I use the new year for that purpose as well.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Nice one,
Very True…
I grew up in Nigeria and same is the case. Children have their place and the know it. You have to exude excellent qualities at all times and when you are wrong, just anticipate some disciplining…
Now living in the west, I wonder at the unruliness of the times here.
Some things are just surprising…
Though there are still some good things.
Thanks Paula. I’m glad you like it.
As I like to say, “Behind every good kid are parents, or caregivers, who understand the importance of raising them that way.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
We counted on our friends rather than counting the number of them. – Absolutely True…Now I only have three friends….i realized most of them were fake and envied my progress
Good for you Bishop. There’s a HUGE difference between a friend and an acquaintance. You only learn that once you have a true friend 🙂
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Wanted to let you know that this blog post planted the idea for a ‘course’ I’ll be facilitating / moderating in January 2020 – at the Lifelong Learning Institute (a continuing education opportunity for people 50+ in Midlothian, Virginia. I’m calling it “Simpler Times and Current Reality.” Over 30 registered so far …
That’s wonderful, John. You made my day! Please let me know how it goes.
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank
Well done and well said! It hs very important to bring the best of the past and mesh it with the best if the current. Thank you for the post!
Thank you, Scott. I’m glad you like it 🙂
As the popular saying goes, “You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing after they have tried everything else.”
Thanks for taking the time to write.
Best,
Frank