Do You Enjoy Crushing Your Opponents?

If you love the thrill of winning a bet, closing a deal, or crushing an opponent, I get it. But here’s the thing: Life isn’t always a competition. Sometimes that fighting spirit goes too far.

Some people don’t just need to be right — they need to rub it in. They don’t just want an apology — they want you to pay. And they don’t end a relationship — they want revenge. These people don’t just file for divorce — they wage war on their ex. They don’t just fire an employee — they blacklist them. And they don’t just want an apology — they want blood.

What are they trying to prove by crushing their opponent? Why add insult to injury when losing is hard enough?

If I didn’t know better, I’d think they savor it — plotting revenge, feeding their ego, and letting anger fuel their obsession to make someone pay. They don’t just want to win; they want to humiliate, dominate, and flaunt their power.

The real test of character is how you treat those who can’t fight back.

Winning Isn’t Enough…Some Want Blood

Sometimes people fixate on someone or something until it takes on a life of its own. Every time the story is recounted, it grows more distorted, fueling anger. Other times, it becomes a tit for tat that quickly spirals out of control. Before long, they’re so intent on winning that they act out of character — and even the strongest relationships can collapse in an instant.

When emotions take over, regret often follows. Here’s why…

When others witness your behavior, you risk losing both their respect and trust. Friends may wonder: If you treated someone you care about that way today, what’s to stop you from doing the same to me tomorrow? Colleagues may question why a once-respected employee was dismissed without care — fueling gossip, resentment, and fear it could happen to them. When you act out of character, you don’t just disappoint others, you disappoint yourself.

You have a lot to gain by stepping back and asking yourself whether this is the best way to handle things. The key is to pause, take a deep breath, gain perspective, and clarify what you want to achieve.

Here are 11 guidelines to give you better perspective:

Talk it out instead of bottling it up.
Ask a trusted friend to play devil’s advocate.
Focus on the good, not just the bad.
Aim for win-win, not victory at any cost.
Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if the tables were turned?
Act with reason, not raw emotion.
Allow others to save face.
End on good terms; don’t burn bridges.
Show compassion, fairness, and respect.
Put it behind you; don’t let yesterday control today.
Do what’s right, not what’s easy — it will help you sleep at night.

Victory Today, Regret Tomorrow

Even when a person or situation leaves you angry, hurt, or resentful, don’t let emotions dictate your actions. Acting on impulse is like tossing a stone into a hornet’s nest — you’ll only get stung. And just as rash decisions can harm you, being consumed by winning can rob you of what truly matters most: your health, happiness, and inner peace.

Don’t win today if it means losing tomorrow. If you can’t do it for them, do it for yourself. Be the better person. Rise above the fray. Choose dignity over revenge. As Robert Brault, the author, said, “If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one.” When you act with fairness, compassion, and respect, you’re not just doing right by others — you’re preserving your honor and staying true to yourself. That’s a victory you can carry, long after the moment has passed. Are you obsessed with crushing your opponents?