Many people like to think of themselves as kind, and to some extent, they are. Claiming this quality makes them feel good, and small acts of generosity may make them look good too. But some only see themselves this way because they’ve set the bar low — either convincing themselves they’ve cleared it or simply fooling themselves. One act of goodwill doesn’t make you kind, just like one win doesn’t make you a winner. You say you’re kind, but are you?

Some people view themselves as thoughtful because they are friendly, helped someone once, or sent a Christmas card or two. But a passing smile or a single good deed doesn’t make you compassionate. Doing something once in a while doesn’t make it a habit — it just shows you remembered to think of it.

Being kind occasionally is a gesture, not a habit.

Think You’re Kind? Think Again

We all like to think of ourselves as kind — but how often do our actions match that belief? These 15 actions reveal what kind of person you really are. 

Do you:

1. Give willingly, or out of obligation?
2. Offer kindness every day, or only on special occasions?
3. Treat strangers with kindness, or only friends?
4. Take initiative, or wait to be asked?
5. Listen to understand, or just to respond?
6. Practice tolerance, or impose your will on others?
7. Give generously, or always expect something in return?
8. Support without overstepping, or force yourself on others?
9. Act discreetly, or boast to win accolades?
10. Show kindness because you care, or because you have an ulterior motive?
11. Acknowledge others’ efforts, or keep it to yourself?
12. Act, or just think about it?
13. Do your fair share, or leave the burden to others?
14. Compromise, or insist on having your way?
15. Focus so much on your own needs that you overlook the needs of others?

Being Kind: Easier Said Than Done

I’m sure you want to think of yourself as kind. After all, it’s painful to see yourself as callous, selfish, or unkind. Yet it’s easy to fall into the trap of putting your own needs first, insisting on having your way, being unwilling to sacrifice, or getting so caught up in your own struggles that you forget others exist. But is that the person you want to be? What impact does that have on your relationships, your reputation, and your sense of self-worth? Imagine a world where everyone acted that way.

At the end of the day, you can make all the excuses you want for not being kind, considerate, and compassionate — but you know the truth. And I hope you can live with it.

Being considerate is like wearing deodorant: It doesn’t cost much,
but it makes life a lot more pleasant for everyone.

Kindness isn’t something you’re born with, nor is it a skill you simply acquire. It’s a choice. You decide who you want to be and how you treat others. At the end of the day, you’ll know whether you brightened someone’s day or only thought of yourself. Being compassionate doesn’t mean ignoring yourself…it means your life isn’t the only one that matters. You say you’re kind, but are you?

Are You Considerate?

“Frank Sonnenberg is one of the most respected thought leaders of our time. This book will challenge you to think, inspire you to grow, and guide you to make the world better.”

Sarah Hiner, Former President and CEO, Bottom Line Inc. (publisher of Bottom Line Personal)

Check it out by clicking here! 

Additional Reading:
Be Kind and Considerate … It’s More Than Just a Catchy Phrase
What Does It Take to Show a Little Kindness?
Take the Shoe-on-the-Other-Foot Test
30 Practical Tips for Living the Golden Rule
Ways to Say You Care
Are You Enthusiastic for the Success of Others?
Being Generous Doesn’t Cost a Penny

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